Saturday, June 13, 2015

Trust, Surrender and Rebellion

RE: Accidents happen for a purpose-or do they? 

After a smashing fall a few months ago my take away is yes. I learned to give and receive in a way I would never have encountered on purpose.  A cost of living example that actually reawrds the one paying the price!


I have been learning to listen with my gut and so far  it is the best way to describe the inner knowing channel. What we choose to pick up is a mystery and yet when something reiterates again and again in many ways, through many people and situations, well so be it. I am learning to pay attention and try to learn from the experience. I believe it is how we learn to navigate our soul path, destiny or that potential inside us that struggles to grow.

As our culture doesn't even have a decent vocabulary for this emergence, i am making it up as I go. Many others are doing in kind, so i know i am not alone, though our accounts differ and so do the words. Eventually words will attach and knowledge will spread through the realm.

Anyway, my rather unsettling year seems to be dancing around the concept of  "trusting  others."

It really grabbed me when i slipped on the concrete steps at the UW campus one day prior to April Fool's Day. A gentle rain was falling and i was all psyched by a class in biological evolution. I wanted to see if the leaps would be explored and/or at least get some current information about them.

I was on my way to check out a media/video class across the campus, jostling book bag and handbag and being unmindful. .

So i ran into fate.  A double flight of concrete steps, slippery where the old aggregate had been polished by pedestrians over the years, took me down. 

The thing that irks me is that I almost grabbed the handrail but a voice in my head over ruled this bit of common sense.  That voice belonged to a therapist that had told my dad to not look down, to walk "normal" so his kinetic abilities weren't hampered. (not verbatim, just the essence) That "voice
 of authority" hijacked my brain.  I took a dive and slid down several stairs. According to one witness "i surfed."

Free falling feels slow motion enough to feel regret. I landed and picked my head up, then eased myself into a sitting position. That was as good as it got. Trouble.

Several students gathered around, asking to help, being wonderfully solicitous.  They were adorable and i so appreciated their empathy, concern and just for stopping.  A campus security woman showed up and called 911. One young woman started to go to class then returned, saying she couldn't leave until I was "rescued."  I fell in love with them all.

Now trust for the human being is one thing and trust in the authoritative command is quite another. However sitting there in pain and comforting others, I surrendered to the moment. No anger, no blame or shame or attempts to rewind time was useful at the moment. I surrendered to destiny and changed my position to look for the "lesson." Some days it is all there is!

To be continued.


Sunday, January 4, 2015

Divine Pagan



 Take Me to Church by Hozier
 
We are beings of spirit and consciousness, invigorated by vital energy. We are evolutional by Nature and conscious by Love.

 God is Love (Jesus of Nazareth)

Love is an emotion and a VERB!

We are Born of Stars (M Kaku) and Made of Soil (Dr. Shiva Vandana)

We are Actualizers  of Belief entwined with all other actualizers. (inspired by A Goswami)

We are relationship centric, socially wired and connected.  I suspect that deep down we all know we are part of something larger. ( Patriotism, clubs, churches, community are all surrogates of this expression)

Science and the vast spread of information has set us free to envision a new narrative of meaning, a world that embraces, nourishes and celebrates the divine pagan and how that vitalizes the whole of consciousness and together the uni-verse either expands or contracts. (Gaiad Theory from Journey to the Center of Being in utero )

We are in an interactive whole that is more than a sum of the parts and yet all parts matter. The potential is ours to explore.  We are here to help each other nourish the whole of us for this will optimize our potential, creative curiosities and help us move past our self limiting beliefs.

We are mature enough as a species to understand and appreciate the cycles of nature as gifts, of abundance, diversity and change . Nature is transformative by design.

The storms, volcanoes  and  "chaos" of nature ensure the vitality and renewal of the planet.

Our passionate outbursts, the ability to choose unhealthily are expressions of free will.
 
 Relativity is to range, as juxtapose is to spark.

Our emotions, rational thoughts and core knowing,  our subconscious minds and our inherited beliefs are all being brought into new understanding. (B. Lipton, D Goleman, others) This might feel chaotic but is, i suspect, just a shaking free, a rebirth, a renewal.

In the whole of energy, in the co creative next, (Barbara Marx Hubbard) the divine masculine and the divine feminine are being embraced. Though the language varies by discourse one can see the emergence in many fields, via many voices.

As shadow needs light and dark, free choice needs "good" and "evil" the whole of our being and doing comes from story via the iconic masculine and feminine (the gamut is a range expressed differently throughout genders. This is natural biodiversity at work) We inherit from the past but  now it is "ours" to reinvent  

As this planet is a gift of the sensual expression of life, I say instead of ascension  and spirit envy why not intentionally enjoy the present human living experience in a healthier, livelier planet embracing, love connecting, sharing realization of the whole.

Why not max out inclusive potential!

You see, i have an idea that without our participation in this realm,  consciousness might lie semi dormant. Joy, love, pain, anger, our curiosity, diversity, ego, creativity, humor, all the capacity, the potential of being, doing is available to each of us here and now. 

Consciousness expands via our actualizations and vice versa.  Ok, i made that up too (Gaiad Theory 2) but i am drugged by the beauty of natural systems, see inert potential everywhere and am not one to make a mess and walk away.

In time we will die and transform as all carbon matter, but for now let us celebrate the Dance of Life.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Solstice Christmas 2014


  Mother Tree at 50th and Zoo, Seattle

Today i and others are sending love through the whole of the energy systems and cycles. 

We are nurturing the whole of understanding, perception, consciousness and vital energy., 

We are supporting the womb of the birthing process. Our evolutional species has ignited the moment to bring forth the narrative of unconditional love.  

This is the story, the experiment in Gaiad Theory and the alternative to "the last person leaving earth...ask her forgiveness. 

The old story is a rotter, let the new story begin!

Friday, November 28, 2014

Science is Golden




 Fabric transfer, feather, embroidery sticks and beads  collage, sold in August 2014

My brother is a funny, warm, intelligent and wonderful man. I love my family. 

However i feel like an alien these days. I am calling this the price of trail blazing, as i come from a somewhat audacious family, i might as well frame myself heroically!

Awhile back i felt hurt and frustrated when trying to talk to my family about issues that question mainstream dogma.  I suffered some minor damages, so listened to advice and learned to bite my tongue.  Feedback told me  things like "i agree with what you say but dislike the way you say it"  that i was too loud, too shrill, too persistent, I am paraphrasing this as being too  "unfeminine." 

Being damned by the invisible rules of socialized discourse, rules no one i knew ever voted on, or otherwise chose, are as an invisible wall that protects Status Quo.  Since status quo is a form of stagnation and this defies the laws of flow, of nature, of energy and life in the process of ever evolving- i just have to stand up  and say "what i want to know is,... what the hell is going on?" (My 4 year old niece made  this phrase a family gem, 1980's citation )  

But i love my family and don't want to be ostracized from the little bit of tribal bonding i have left. In a world seeking individualization, an array of life choices and organized by divisive measures, i am guessing this resonates with many others as well. 

So for quite awhile now,  i have avoided much of anything controversial on the home gathering front. This might have forced me to seek more receptive outlets.  The "Species on the Verge," "Retail Therapy Redux" videos and " FashionRIP" and "Water the Flow" installations at the Kerf Art Gallery might be a part of that result. (my resolute subconscious guide?)

Since this unfolding process picked up speed with the "Journey to the Center of Being" script that started to inform my life as life influenced (and still does) the story,  i cannot separate myself into the parts and roles i once understood to be as "me."

With the deconstructing of myths, those of self and culture,  i realized how insidious some of the most normal, passive, benign appearing actions, memes, stories are as they inform beliefs. When i pulled up to look at the shadow and found the wilde woman of "she who was banished" so very long ago, answers started spilling out. Pandora's lids are lifting higher,  her veils are coming off.

The hearth of family must come back into the story. I hope i have learned enough to address things with compassion, love and what wisdom i have gathered. This experiment must continue, i cannot stop what inspires and intrigues me more than anything i was ever taught to believe to exist, perhaps it is living the "i am?"  I do not know more than i know.

So yesterday, after a rocky beginning, the holiday ended with several "embrace the emotion, own the love, the pain, the whole of life"  moments...and it was beautiful. It was an evening of laughter, memories and overflowing love for all of the "us" we have become, those in body and in spirit, the all. 

If we cannot show the people we love the most who we really are, then who do we dare show?

And now - for the bro of the intro, as a thank you for pushing my buttons and forcing my attention, i give you the scientific method,  the modern sacred rule of reality, the dominator of  the factual.

hey ho let's go:
I go outside and a crow shits on my head. Damn

The next day I go outside,  but this time I wear a hat.  No crow shits on me. I go outside several hundred more times and no crow shits on me. I call my friend and tell nim that when I wear a hat no crow shits on me. My friend repeats this fact to his friends. Now everyone in the neighborhood wears hats.

I go outside wearing the hat, the crow shits on my hat. The next day I go outside, no shit. I repeat this several hundred times and am never shit on again. I deduce that the first incident was an anomaly and throw it out of the data pool. This means that no crow ever shit on my hat. I could not repeat the incident, it is not a fact. Since it isn't a fact i do not tell my friend that hat wearing does not stop crows from shitting.

I go outside, a crow shits on the head of a person walking near the bus stop.  (Hat wearing had gone out of vogue as fashion speaks louder than practicalities)  The next few hundred days I go outside walk all over and no crows shit on anyone's head within my broad range spectrum of subjects.  I realize once again that the first incident was an anomaly and throw it out of the data pool.  But since i had broadened my experiment to include a wide array of situations i now extrapolate the facts to cover the "commons." I repeat the walk from the bus stop to the park over and over and neither i or anyone  i see, is ever shit on by any crow what so ever.  I deduce that no one is ever shit on by crows. I publish this data.

I go outside, a crow shits on my head. I know this isn’t true because I read that crows do not shit on people's heads. It was proven in repeated experiments. I therefore ignore the obvious,  because “I “ must be wrong. 

I go outside, crow shits on my head, but we all know crows do not shit on people. 

We all know this because we have been told over and over that this is true. I do not even feel the shit hit my head. I go to work and no one sees the shit on my head. I go to the bathroom and wash my hands and do not see the reflection in the mirror that clearly reflects shit on head. I return home and eventually wash my hair. This never happened. This is cognitive dissonance.

Amen 

PS, no crows were paid or trained to act in this experiment. No crows or humans were harmed in this experiment. No experiment really took place, therefore crows that shit in phantom experiments are not to be deduced as having any real life qualities whatsoever. The word crow exists as a phantom, an abstract and yet we all pull up "crow visuals, stories and other lore" -this phenomena is most interesting in and of itself. However, as all crow stories and images vary..how does one claim one as more real than the others? How does one claim this mental occurrence as fact? It doesn't happen but it does!

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

New Feminine Uprising

detail of dress for "Journey to the Center of Being"
paint applique and marker on bridal satin


 from a recent social media conversation:

Deborah Barnes : Sad. Humans afraid to face themselves run from reality, the pain and the fear. This results in being ever less involved in the whole of life. Seeing others as lesser to make that "self"  feel  "better" gets weird fast. Who is judge and what is judged becomes a part of the self actualizing and feeds ego what it thinks it wants, but avoids the truth it needs in order to mature. 

To live in pursuit of  pleasure becomes a real "job" as pleasure lessens with each hit. Like any addiction, this is a mere distort of perception that wears out in the long run. We are perhaps being invited or forced to the next level even as we resist. (Spirit motivation, evolution calling or like i think of it,  all is one saying wakey shakey m'dear) Apparently, we humans like the easy fix.  Trading one great delusion for another is classic. It appears familiar and normal and it is not the solution  or we wouldn't be in this current mess.

K:  Like I said before, I could go deeper and dissect the Franklin Cover Up, and with all things laid out, prove that our society is run by a bunch of owl worshiping pedophiles. When you come to that conclusion, the whole perspective changes.

Deborah Barnes:  okay so what makes an owl worshiping pedophile? I am not debating the illness,  just trying to understand the dis-ease.

K: It's simple, it's lust and desire for power at all costs. It doesn't matter who they hurt and what happens to their souls. And they layer lie on top of lie to make sure the majority of the people alive are none the wiser.


Deborah Barnes:  Lust and desire for power, okay; this is a good start point
Lust is an innate distort of passion.  When passion is observed as something hard to control it appears perhaps "better"  to blame that which makes one run hot-- (the person desired or?) and attach shame to the situation, because in reason that which is not reason is lesser, This goes on to cover a lot of territory under the veil of "don't even go there!" (Greek heritage-Egypt was all many Gods, the  top spot went to "Amen" or Amon right oh! Thus was debuted a formal version of God as King and so King is God. 

Backing this up a bit,  the early fertility goddesses lost their charms (and power)  after trade started creating disputes and weapons were designed to protect the goods and later the "just take the goods" became the excuse to build empires ad nauseam.  This is probably how the male power archetypes surged ahead.
The rise of patriarchy was a golden set up for the early church. 

Okay this is the age of male power domination for a good reason. Howling storms, wolves in the forset, strangers from distant lands swooping in and killing that which they didn't understand, plagues and what all;  there was a lot to fear.  Protecting the group was a good and necessary action. Power derived from this source was no doubt heady and the rush, the addiction started. .

In the interpretation of power another path was unfolding, this one had to do with knowledge and the church went for it. They told the best stories, had the best art and opened it up to the public. They had the power of the "media" going for them. 

To augment their source of revenue and to add value to their services, the church went after the women's roles in village life (Marketing the fear of witches, pagans, devils, demons yup what a sell!) This upped the power of the church, which nabbed control of monarchy. Score! 

Trouble appeared as Henry the 8th, that no divorce/have to have a son thing, and a new church manifested to slay that demon! (1500s) Galileo was incarcerated in Italy for his ungodly observances in same era..(uni-verse in collusion:-) So on the science front, the Illuminati emerged around the same time as the Church of England! 

 Both were defiant sons, models of rebellion against the old rulers. How far do you go to spite "church daddy?" Recently and interestingly, church has been caught for hiding pedophiles, and with "Illuminati" doing similar.. is interesting no? 

Okay all appears a bit too out there, i agree, but that is why it is called insane. As for names, players there seems a bit of the old "i'll show you. I cannot please the god of "perfection" so i will do the opposite. 

The ancient cult idea has lingering lodges, those  Masonic set ups- and so what else might be behind closed doors of so called privilege hiding in plain sight?

A possibility here: In trying to create a safe harbor, without understanding the nature of storms, one invariable plays defense. Those flood proof barriers eventually fail. This takes the appearance of strength and arrogance. But maybe that is just a mask that fools ego, a trick to  avoid facing the fear of the whole self.  

Until we accept fear, doubt, error as ohay there appears to be an overwhelming tendency to bury the flaws, wounds and other "sins" from "self." both are trapped in archaic hand me downs, both need fresh ideas to heal the ancient wounds. 

As in the Renaissance, i am hopeful human beings are at a turning point. Or better, perhaps this time it is a leap. In the new narrative i am working with the reinstated feminine archetype who flings the door of choices wide open. Like a rush of fresh air, she clears the room of stale smoke, cutting through the smoke screens not many even knew were there.

She who was feared is also she who will not be denied, because she is a viable part of the whole of who we all are. She is the frame for life itself, she will help us crack the delusions so we can embrace our whole beingness. She understands the shadow as relative to light. She understands cycles and energy flow. She will free us from chains of our old false beliefs.

FYI: this is not gender specific. we are all a mix of male and female archetype, we are all human first. The balance  this "she" brings, relates to our symbiotic relationship to the planet, viatl energy, the  life dance and is as a welcome addition to consciousness which is  considered to be in the realm of the male archetype . Gaiad Theory is my concept of this basic relationship and how as humans  (other species not ruled out) we are conduits for the interactivity that informs and changes the whole- the whole of consciousness and vital energy. This is at the individual level on out and inward as well (life systems within life systems) This is something to get your head around but once you do you can't  go back!
\

Friday, October 24, 2014

The Courage to Stop the Fear


photo of poster with digital graffiti
thank you Audioasis and the Grizzled M Srongs


Dear Mr S,
(in response to :

Strategies for Prevention-Oriented Societies


Where you live could impact the state of your physical and mental health.


The National Prevention Council (NPC) chaired by the US Surgeon General, identified strategies for "prevention-oriented societies" in its 2014 National Prevention, Health Promotion, and Public Health Council Annual Status Report.  This report highlights progress in implementing the National Prevention Strategy and reaching its goal of increasing the number of healthy Americans at every stage of life. Since many of the strongest predictors of health and well-being fall outside of the health care setting, the Strategy envisions a prevention-oriented society where all sectors contribute to the health of individuals, families, and communities. Download the Report."....

What a sad, side stepping report. 

Aren't we mature enough as a species, to face the really big bogeymen?  You know, the ones hidden under the cloak of protection the early bullies (elite) donned back when the god/kings/queens had ultimate power? I am thinking we just went along assuming they had the right stuff to go with it, gods will and all that.  

Then when abusive power became intolerable, the masses (people) would revolt and a new leader stepped up and life went on. Only not much really changed.

EX: Napoleon called himself an emperor because he was not a king, The king was like bad -right? 

For revolts were merely adaptive measures, the ideology was/is merely massaged, but so far has not been ripped apart to analyze the whole from multiple perspectives, until now.

When seen in the realm of personal development, our culture appears to have maintained an early ego construct. The facade is crumbling. Throughout written history, through the rise and fall of power elites in religious, political, social, and corporate clusters there is a common thread and that is the idea of hierarchy. This is a competitive notion swathed in limited access "regulations and rules," making it lossy. It strangles innovation other than that which suits its own purposes!

The ladder of rewards is used to create that "something to lose" sweet spot (Howard Zinn, The People's History of the United States) that stops the lower steppers from getting too close to the "top" as then the  middle protects the higher uppers. This protective device, this middle ground, middle class wall is a barricade. But it is also a cage!

So when the "winner take all" extremism is touted and rewarded, it is as acting against our better interests.  At the end of the day the  one winner with the whole of everything actually has nothing at all. When no one is left to cheer, to reflect  back the glory that "winner" self disappears. Our culture is therefore suicidal.

I suspect these silly, archaic and limiting notions of who "we " are taught to believe  ourselves to be, come attached to the myths, stories and ideas woven into our personal and cultural narratives. They are difficult to extract without focused effort. No matter, we need to go inand investigate, to keep that which supports our best of selves and let go of that which is blocking our true and healthy growth. 

What made the mess will not solve it. Even as we speak about community, connectivity and relationships we have a huge gap in understanding. Our emotional shadow world  has not been explored. This was tossed behind the barricade of "DON"T" and "SIN." 


Problem here is that it is also part of the "who" we are. We need to understand wholeness. We need to understand our dark sides as well as that which shows up as light. 

Consider that our classic run from fear (pain) is why we are now stricken by the consequences of our ways. Global warming, toxic newborns, dehumanization ramp up,  mechanical walls that steal full sensory input/output, more dis-ease etc.  We have ignored our wholeness and our responsibility to the whole. 

We have made a hellish mess of many things. Instead of being at war with life, we can decide to be at peace with the whole of life.

Under the circumstances it looks like we all could do with a makeover. What about getting a new emotional, logical, mindful handle on our personal selfs so that when magnified in the context of the cultural psyche, the result is a manifest of truth, love, peace, happiness, health, abundance and creative curiosity?  What about that?

 It is time to enter stage eyes open. It is time to learn to accept and understand this simply vast and marvelous wholeness.  It is time to accept responsibility, to stop the justification and face saving-  it is time to put on our grown up pants. It is time to work together in the process of the doing, for this is how we can all learn the new ways fast enough to save our lives.

We need to see the wounds in order to heal. We need to be courageously willing to risk the unknown and leap into developing a future of remarkable  health and well being. We need to risk saving our lives, for if not now, when? 

What if we decide to  help each other reach maximal potentials? What if we really get how the sum of the parts are interrelated, are interactive and expansive -for this creates the more. This then becomes the "more" in the whole of all that is possible.
(Gaiad Theory)

When we actualize from these beliefs, what might happen?  Surely it beats the killer, taker  Mad Max nihilism of our old ways? 

Embracing, accepting and respecting  the whole of life, dissolves the power of the bogeyman. I suspect that deep down inside, we all know this.. 

sincerely,
deborah j barnes
fashionRIP